Changes          --by Kimmi Siver, Lancaster, Massachusetts

     Today I stumbled across my left over Halloween candy, which I had
forgotten in my drawer. I poked around in the brown paper bag in
attempts of finding something chocolatey, but instead I found a
strawberry Push Pop. Now, If you're like me, you probably have many
cherished childhood memories of special occasions, sibling rivalries,
trips to the ocean, and Push Pops. For my brother and I, no shopping
trip was complete without a fun, flavor filled, diabetes inducing Push
Pop!
     I smiled as I tore off the plastic wrapping and tasted the familiar
flavor once again. I couldn't help but appreciate the fact that I had
finally found something unchanged since I was a little kid. This was
short lived however, because when I tried to push the pop up higher my
finger just hit the bottom of a solid plastic container. Confused, I
tried pulling off the bottom of the dispenser, figuring it was just a
new sanitary precaution. This also proved futile, even after enlisting
the help of several pointy metal objects as well as my teeth.
     For a while I just looked bewilderedly at the deceitful wrapper. Then
I saw it. In smaller letters to the right of the Push Pop logo was the
description: "Now With POP UP ACTION!"
     I stared numbly at the wrapper for a few moments, then back to the
candy that hadn't "popped up" at all. After hitting the dispenser a
few times and trying to wedge the candy out with my teeth, I came to
the realization that the candy was in fact, not going to come out.
     I decided to check out this new concept on the web site, and sure
enough it was all there. This is what I read: "Now Push Pops are
spring loaded! So your Push Pop pops UP, pops UP, pops UP all by
itself! No more sticky fingers!!! But still the same great taste!"
     What I'm trying to understand is, why would I want to buy a Push Pop
if I can't, you know, push it? Not only have I lost this classic piece
of my childhood, but there is at least an inch of Push Pop left in
that dispenser and I have seen no spring loaded action! I want my
candy! I want my memories!
     So I was thinking, maybe this is just a small step in desensitizing
and preparing us for even more drastic changes! Next thing you know
our Lego's will already be assembled and our DunkAroos will already be
dunked! But who wants to buy pre-dunked DunkAroos? Not me!
     So my faithful (and not so faithful) readers, unite with me in
boycotting spring loaded Push Pops! Although this action will do
absolutely nothing to hinder the production of these pops, it may in
the long run prevent cavities. If we can't have our Push Pops how we
want, we might as well have nice teeth.

main / photos / jokes / stories / health / books / opinion / submissions / links / awards / e-mail to editor