Outcast     by Audrey Murray

    Everyone knew her. Even if they didn’t know her name, they knew who she was. She was
an outcast, an insect to society. No friends, no acquaintances, no one who even cared who she
was. As she walked down the hall, people jeered, called her names, laughed when she ran into
the bathroom sobbing.
    Day after day, the cruel students of Sunnyvale High School would torment her, try to see how
far they could push her. The entire student-body’s mission was to make her miserable. Yet she
was a strong person, and she endured their behavior. She made her persecution into a game, a
game she would win if she survived high school.
    Why did they choose her? What had she ever done to them? Not even they remembered. But
she remembered how it had started, all too vividly.
    It was the first day of junior high when the malicious behavior began. Dressed in a new sweater
her mother had made and a nice pair of pants, she set out for school. She was so excited about
entering a new school, even if it was just down the street from her old one. On her way to school,
she saw Becky and Julia, her best friends from last year. Becky and Julia lived in real houses, much
bigger than her apartment. Their parents’ could even afford to buy them new school outfits.
    "Becky! Julia! Wait for me!" she called.
    Her calls were met with an icy stare from Becky. "We aren’t friends with you anymore," Becky
said with a cool voice.
    "Why not?" she asked.
    "Because you don’t have a father."
    She could still remember the blow that comment had caused her. It felt like someone had stabbed
her in the stomach, twisted the knife around, and then slowly extracted it from her abdomen. Nothing
would ever erase or ease the pain caused by this memory. No matter how many times her mother
told her that her father’s departure was not her fault, or how she was special because she only had to
share her love with one parent, she still felt inferior inside. Inferior to Becky, Julia, and all the other
people in the world with fathers.
    Memories of her father were few and obscure. She had one hazy memory of her father taking her
out for ice cream when she was very young. There were memories of birthdays were he sent cards,
sometimes with a little money inside. More vivid, though, were the memories of the years when he
didn’t send cards. She remembered the time when she and her fellow kindergarten classmates were
asked to bring in their fathers for career day. She was squirming in her seat when the teacher called
on her, and she had said that her father was in the hospital.
    "What for?" the teacher had asked sympathetically.
    "Ummm… an operation," she had mumbled feebly. "Yes, an operation. They have to …err…
remove his brains because an evil bad guy put bad brains in." She had seen this on TV once, and
was sure it was a common procedure. However, the teacher had not been so easily fooled, and this
story earned her a seat in the following night’s detention.
    Yet despite all the times he had hurt her, she didn’t hate her father. How could she when she
barely knew him? After all, he must have had a reason for leaving her, probably a pathetic one, but
she wouldn’t let herself judge what little she knew of him. Neither liking nor disliking him, she tried
very hard to live her life as if he didn’t exist. She did, however, promise herself that she would never
trust a member of the opposite sex again.
    It was first period, and she was in history. Slouching down so no one would see her and begin
the inevitable taunting, she studied the boy standing nervously in the front of the classroom. He was
tall, with dark hair and penetrating blue eyes. He noticed her observations, and smiled at her. She
quickly looked away. She was attracted to him, and didn’t want to be. As soon as he becomes
aquatinted, he’ll learn that no one is anything but mean to me, she thought.
    "All right class, settle down," her teacher began in his perpetual monotone. "Today, we have
a new student. His name is Bobby Nolan, and I know you’ll all show him the utmost courtesy, and
be exceedingly friendly. Remember, starting at a new school is very difficult." He turned to Bobby.
"You can sit over there."
    He was pointing to the empty seat behind her. Bobby sauntered to his seat, with twelve pairs of
female eyes following him. He sat down, placing his backpack beside his seat, sliding coolly into his
seat. She had never been attracted to anyone before in her life, but she felt complete infatuation
towards him.
    "Hey," he whispered. "Can I borrow a pen?"
    And do what, poke me in the eye? she wondered, ignoring him completely.
    "Please, it’s just a pen! I promise I’ll give it back."
    Maybe he isn’t such a jerk after all. I mean, it’s is first day here, I should give him a
break. She turned slowly, and gave him the pencil. His eyes met her gaze, and she looked down
quickly.
    "Thanks, I’m Bobby."
    "I’m-"
    "I know I told you to be friendly to our new student, but I did not mean during my
class. Now will you two kindly pay attention?" the teacher interrupted.
    But she could do anything but pay attention. She, who was usually extremely attentive
during class, could not stop day dreaming about Bobby. Would he be as mean to her as
the rest were? Would he actually be courteous? Would he be her friend? Would he be
more than her friend?
    Finally, class ended. She tried to rush out of the classroom, to get to her next class
before the hall tormentors could begin their work, but someone stopped her. Someone
was holding her arm, and that someone was Bobby.
    "Hey sorry I got you in trouble in class," he began.
    "It’s OK," she mumbled, blushing.
    "Look, can I make it up to you? How about dinner Saturday night?"
    "Umm well I umm I mean I have to umm I mean I want to but umm I have to umm…"
    "Is that a yes?"
    "I guess."
    "Great! How about Charlie’s? I’ve heard really great things about it. I’ll meet you
there at… 8?"
    "Sure!" she burst out, so excited about being asked out on her first date. This
sudden outburst caused her to blush furiously. As she rushed out of the room, she
heard Bobby call: "Great, I’ll see you then!"
    "Hey, look who it is! It’s pizza-face. I see we put a little more grease in our hair
than usual," a boy called.
    "Oh, honey, I absolutely love that outfit! Where did you get it? Wal-Mart?" a
cheerleader asked in an innocent tone that was dripping with malice.
    "You know, I was going to go for that scrubby, gas-attendant look today, but I
thought it was so last year!" one of her friends replied.
    But today, these comments didn’t even penetrate. She had a date for Saturday
night, a date that all these girls had been ogling at in history. Holding her head high,
she walked down the hall, pretending she was Becky. Well, she would be Becky,
for Saturday night at least. Mama would make her a new outfit, and she would even
splurge and buy some make-up for the date. Saturday couldn’t come soon enough!
    The week went by ever so slowly. She had thought she would burst out in tears
of agony waiting for the bell to ring on Friday. For once, she had been eager to be
out of school, as the dreams of her date tonight bombarded her mind. Now it was
8 o’clock. She was at Charlie’s, impatiently awaiting Bobby’s arrival. With her hair
in a fancy bun, makeup on her face, and a new shirt and a skirt on, she felt absolutely
ravishing. But, on the inside, her organs were butterflies. Her head pounded, her
stomach leapt into her mouth every so often. What if he thought she looked ugly?
What if they couldn’t keep a conversation going? What if she spilled food on herself?
Ugh, that would be so embarrassing.
    Eight fifteen rolled around. Where was he? He had said eight, hadn’t he? Yes,
he’d called to confirm this afternoon. Oh, the sound of his voice was ecstasy. What
if he forgot? No, he wouldn’t forget between five and eight.
    By the time the clock read eight thirty, she began to really worry. At nine o’clock,
she left, tears in her eyes, that she wouldn’t let herself cry until she reached the safety
of her home. The pain she felt could not be described with words. Her legs turned to
lead, her heart sank, and her head screamed over and over again: "HE STOOD YOU
UP! HE STOOD YOU UP!"
    On Monday, the last thing she wanted to do was go to school and face him. Hadn’t
she tried to warn herself this would happen? However, her mother would have nothing
of it.
    "I’m sure there was a reason he didn’t show up on Saturday. Maybe there was a
family emergency. You’re going to mope around the halls, until he finds you, and tells
you his grandfather had a heart attack and they had to rush to the hospital. And then
you’ll fell awful for hating him," her mother concluded triumphantly.
    "Whatever," she replied, trying desperately to conceal the happiness brought about
by this new idea. Though she knew, deep down that her mother’s explanation was
incorrect, she couldn’t help running the three blocks to school.
    Upon reaching the schoolyard, she saw Bobby. As she tried to approach him, her
body turned to Jell-O. When she finally reached him, however, his arm was wrapped
tightly around Becky. Before she could turn and run, Becky saw her.
    "Look, there she is. She did go to Charlie’s, she did! I told you she would. Look at
her, just look at her. Oh, this is just great. She looks like an injured dog. I would break
my dog’s leg just to see that look again! What a loser, she actually went…," Becky
continued with words that her victim would never forget.
    Hurt beyond words, she met Bobby’s gaze. He gave her a look clearly saying, "You
thought you could have me? In your dreams!" She ran away, too injured to cry.
    That day at lunch, she sat in her usual spot: the last table in the back of the cafeteria
where no one but she ever sat. The whole day had been horrible; she just couldn’t stop
thinking about what Bobby had done to her. This was, by far, the worst prank her
classmates had ever pulled. She avoided looking at Bobby’s table.
    Suddenly, a commotion arose at Bobby’s end of the cafeteria.
    "WHAT?!" a voice screamed. "YOU’RE MOTHER WORKS WHERE?!" His
whole table began screaming words that would forever seal his fate. He would become
an outcast, like she was.
    "No," she whispered softly. "They can make fun of me, but NOT him." She felt an
incredible sense of loyalty to this boy who had absolutely humiliated her.
    Teeming with anger, she ran over to the crowd jeering Bobby. He was crying.
    "STOP!" she screamed in a voice she didn’t know she possessed. The cafeteria
became silent. She walked to the center of the crowd, to Bobby. She took his hand.
Silently, she led him out of the cafeteria.
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