HUMOR ARCHIVES #3

"I drank what?"      --Socrates
Joe was passing a small courtyard and heard voices murmuring. He went in
and saw an altar with a large zero in the middle and a banner that said 'N I L'.
White-robed people were kneeling before the altar chanting hymns to The
Great Nullity, The Blessed Emptiness, and The Big Zero in the Sky. Joe turned
to a white-robed acolyte beside him and whispered, "Is Nothing Sacred?"
A burglar went to the bank and pointed a gun at the cashier and said,
"Give me all your money, or you'll be GEOGRAPHY!"
The cashier laughed nervously, "You mean HISTORY, right?"
The burglar snapped back, "Don't change the subject!" --clean-laffs
I spilled spot remover on my dog. He's gone now.  --Steven Wright
Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down
        and see that I forgot to put on my pants.     --anon
I saw a man with a wooden leg, and a real foot.
Headline Hoots click here --submitted by Kelly.Glass
Let's live like nomads. That's where I no mad at you, you no mad at me.
"When I picked up the little dead mouse that my cat
       had killed, at first I felt sad. Then I felt hungry. I
      forget what happened after that."  --Jack Handey
A man warned his son: "If you masturbate, you'll go blind."
The boy replied, "I'm over here, Dad."
Fools belittle that which they do not understand.
     Cynics belittle everything.
     Midgets simply belittle.

       back to Humor main page / back to top / submit a joke

main / photos / jokes / stories / health / books / opinion / submissions / links / awards / e-mail to editor