FUNNY SIGNS FROM THE WORLD OVER:  -submitted by BigBob

At a Budapest zoo: PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF
YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.

Doctors office, Rome: SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

We don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in our pool. --submitted by InicentDeVil

On a plumbing company's van: "A flush beats a full house!"

Hotel, Acapulco: THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL
THE WATER SERVED HERE.

NOTICE IN A FIELD: The farmer allows walkers to cross the
field for free, but the bull charges.

IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE: Bargain Basement Upstairs

IN AN OFFICE: Would the person who took the step ladder
yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be
taken.

Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan:  COOLES AND
HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM,
PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.

Car rental brochure, Tokyo: WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT,
TOOTLE THE HORN. TRUMPET HIM MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE
STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE THEN TOOTLE HIM WITH VIGOUR.

In a Nairobi restaurant: CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE
OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

On the grounds of a private school: NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.

On an Athi River highway: TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER,
THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

On a poster at Kencom: ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF
SO, WE CAN HELP.

In a City restaurant: OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.

One of the Mathare buildings: MENTAL HEALTH PREVENTION CENTRE.

A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer: DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH
WET HANDS.

In a Pumwani maternity ward: NO CHILDREN ALLOWED.

In a cemetery: PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS
FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

Hotel lobby, Bucharest: THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT
DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.

Hotel elevator, Paris: PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK.

Hotel, Yugoslavia: THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE
IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: YOU ARE
WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET
COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.

Supermarket, Hong Kong: FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND
COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE.

On the wall of a British Columbia cleaning service: Able to Do the Worst Possible Job

In a Kansas City oculist's office: Broken lenses duplicated here

In a Boston fast-food parking lot: Parking for Drive-Through Customers Only

Billboard on Florida highway: If You Can't Read, We Can Help

On the Triborough Bridge in New York: In Event of Air Attack Drive Off Bridge

On a Lockhart, Texas, gas station and minimart: We're out of Rolaids, but we've got gas.

At the basketball court in a Gastonton, North Carolina, YMCA: Anyone caught hanging from the rim will be suspended 

QUICKSAND WARNING: Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the District Council.

NOTICE IN A DRY CLEANER'S WINDOW: Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.

A laundry in Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE
AFTERNOON HAVING A GOODTIME.

IN A HEALTH FOOD SHOP WINDOW: Closed due to illness.

ON A REPAIR SHOP DOOR: We can repair anything (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work)
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