Dean's Secret Student Evaluation Guidelines

         Category                     Definition

GREAT PRESENTATION SKILLS ........ Able to B.S. fluently
GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS .....Spends lots of time on phone
AVERAGE STUDENT.............................. Not too bright
EXCEPTIONALLY WELL ADJUSTED ..... Made no major blunders yet
SCHOOL WORK IS FIRST PRIORITY ........Too ugly to get a date
ACTIVE SOCIALLY .................. Parties a lot
FAMILY IS PROMINENT SOCIALLY ........ Parents party a lot, too
INDEPENDENT WORKER ..........Nobody knows what he/she does most of the time
QUICK THINKING ................... Offers plausible excuses
CAREFUL THINKER .................. Won't make a decision
AGGRESSIVE ....................... Obnoxious
USES LOGIC ON DIFFICULT TASKS ..... Gets someone else to do it
EXPRESSES THEMSELVES WELL ........ Speaks English
METICULOUS ATTENTION TO DETAIL ... A nit picker
HAS LEADERSHIP QUALITIES ......... Is tall or has a loud voice
EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD JUDGEMENT ..... Lucky
KEEN SENSE OF HUMOUR ............. Knows a lot of dirty jokes
CAREER MINDED .................... Back Stabber
FLEXIBLE ............................ Can't get a job
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