Things to do at Wal-Mart while your mom is
taking her sweet time shopping.

1. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when
they're not looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10 minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "I think we
have a Code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.

5. Turn all the radios to a polka station, then turn them off and turn the
volumes to 10.

6. Challenge other customers to duel with tubes of gift wrapping.

7. Put a package of M&M's on layaway.

8. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you will invite
them only if they bring pillows from the bedding department.

9. When someone asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't
you people just leave me alone."

10. Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full scale battlefield
with G.I.Joes and X-Men.

11. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you
pick your nose.

12. While handling guns in sporting goods, ask the clerk if he knows where
the antidepressants are located.

13. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme song from Mission
Impossible.

14. Set up a Valet Parking sign out front.

15. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size
funnels.

16. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say, "Pick me!
Pick Me!!"

17. When an announcement is made over the intercom, curl up in a fetal
position and scream, "No! No! It's those voices again."

18. Go into the fitting room, and yell real loud, "Hey, we're out of toilet
paper in here!"
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