For him, For you, For her      by Anna Czermak

    I wrote this poem about 3 people who are close to me. Her is my bestfriend, 
    him is my exboyfriend and you is my father.

>  I have a photo of you and my mama
> Arms embracing your hair is curly
> The fashion of free love
> Looks of passion between you

> I met him at a Christmas market
> The carousel went around and round behind us
> His hand grasped mine and pulled
> Me to the revolving horses he stands to tall
> We laugh his harsh rhythmic language
> Spechen die Deutsch Nein

> I often fantasis of a night
> Eighteen years and ten months ago
> Moving white flesh beneath sheets
> A hot Australian night (or was it day)
> A climate you are not use to
> The day which I became
> Was it special for you- do you care

> Her black dreds bounce
> She tilts her head as she giggles
> Her radiant smile and glistening eyes
> I sit with her and make plans
> Days of happiness to come- over the sea
> friendship grow like interweaving vines

> He came to me one day
> To cure my homesickness-he took me away
> To the endless splashing waters
> I stood on the edge of Europe
> And felt the Australian sun hitting my back
> Wrapped in his jacket and grey woollen scarf

> You used to drive me on endless journeys
> To great trees forests and waterfalls
> I listened the way only a child can
> To the purr of the engine
> As you broke the speed limit never thinking of the cargo on the backseat
> - with pigtails

> I remember gargling with him on Christmas Eve
> To teach me to roll my R's we almost died laughing
> He taught me to say merry Christmas
> In his rough language and
> I learnt to see the world through his eyes
> He taught me words and phrases - Ich Liebe Dich

> I ran with her through the corridors of school
> Four black shoes and knee high white socks
> We imagined the world at our feet
> But I always saw the fragility in her eyes
> When she hid behind her 'bondage mistress' mask
> Yet boys years older would cower in her shadow- me and dell

> When I was younger you carried me on your shoulders
> You always seemed to be there to catch my fall
> It seemed to me that I was important to you
> I even remember wanting to come and live in your home
> But the only time I ever asked you said no

> We shared everything her and me
> The two fatherless girls on the swings
> The thing that kept us together was the shared dream
> I don't know what I dream of any more
> I'll Ask her when she walks through the door
> And suddenly I will remember the warmth she brings

> I went to soccer matches with him
> I remember sitting in 5 degrees
> Ice on the ground I never felt the cold
> The look of life in his eyes took the wintry feel away

> I remember the day they found the body in a shallow grave
> We could not talk about it the feelings it unleashed
> I ached because I needed to know why it happened
> Between the rows of books she told me she was scared
> Her smooth voice confessed her weakness
> And I no longer felt so alone

> I used to think that adults were invincable like Superman
> But you destroyed that for me
> The day I found my mama crying cause of you
> It hurt me to see her in a small ball shaking in her bed
> As I stood in the doorway my three year old frame hard against the wall

> He used to visit me all the time
> Show me places and tell me stories
> He was my friend when I was lonely
> My life was so different when he was around
> A marchwald where happpiness dripped from the sun

> Her voice no longer bounces off the walls
> The way it did last year
> I hear the sound of her laughter from the other end of the phone
> We go out late at night
> And we can forget that in the morning
> We will depart to our separate worlds

> He writes to me from far away
> The sweet curly letters from an apparition
> I want to walk in the streets I once knew
> And scream like liza minnelli under the train tracks
> I hold the white sheet as if is a key
> To the land I can not forget

> You took me to dinner on Wednesday
> Asked me if I was okay did I need any money
> -any help
> You asked me to come and visit you
> You - a lonely old man

> Me- your daughter.
                           back to top

main / photos / jokes / stories / health / books / opinion / submissions / links / awards / e-mail to editor